The after battle
by Heavychop
Summary: The Varia lost in the ring battle and everyone was badly injured. As he had completely lost his power, Xanxus started to doubt Squalo's faithfulness towards him.


**I want to thank anyone of you who reads and supports my story! *bows***

**Honest reviews are truly welcome and appreciated~ Ah, feel free to flame too, it'll definitely helps me to improve (although it will be a different matter whether I actually listened or not but I will try my best).**

****Note:  
>-I do not own KHR characters (I hope they are mine TT_TT)<br>-There may be grammatical and spelling errors (don't hesitate to point them out~ I'm kinda blind..)  
>-Contains violence, verbal language and lemon, gay, BL, shounen ai or whatever you called it.<br>**

**Enjoy!  
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><p><strong>Squalo<strong>

The air was cold as ice, which made me shiver all the way down my spine. I was surrounded by white walls and this deafening silence. I sat on a wheelchair that was meant for me. But I wasn't about to rely on this thing to move. I could walk on my own, for I was no weakling. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't really close my eyes. The terrible pain was piercing my brains awake. Plus, the images of what happen not long ago were playing smoothly like a slide show over and over and over again made this ten times worse. The icy air that went pass my body made me shiver and chatter even more, even though I was covered in white dressings all over my body and having my garments on.

I wasn't alone. I was sitting by him all these time that had slipped through me quietly and secretly seconds after seconds. Since I couldn't have my eyes closed, I wanted to see his open. He passed out just then and hadn't have his eyes open once until now. Tch, he simply likes to make me wait all the time, like the bastard he always was.

Shitty boss.

I think I might had reach the freezing point of me because my body went kind of numb. Even so it didn't help reduce any pain of me. I can still feel the very pain underneath those white dressings with my blood and bits of my flesh on them. Uh!

I sensed him awake. His head moved a little and his heavy eye lids slowly open up. He then saw me sitting right beside him and pursed his eyebrowns, must be annoyed to see someone watching him sleep all the time. Not that I would care.

"What the hell are you doing here?" those were his first words after awoke from his dreams. A low and pissed growl.

"VOI what the hell am I doing here! Isn't it obvious that I'm waiting for you to pop your eyes open!" was he an idiot or something to ask such a silly question that even a fool would know the answer for that!

"...and kill me alive?" he said, which simply left me dumbstruck. Why the fuck did he ever said that? Did I look like a betrayer or something? Those words from his just struck me dead like lightning bolt. I froze, from the tip of my hair way down till the very end of my toes.

Before I was able to recover from these striking words or react, or anything, he added something even more idiotic "Then do it now, or get out of my sight."

What the heck was wrong with him? **Never **had I ever wanted to betray him. The hell I would. Perhaps anyone would on Earth. But just not **me, **Superbia Squalo in this world of endless possibility.

Yes I know. Instead I'd knew that all along──that you, Xanxus, wasn't the legitimate son of the Vongola IX ( well which means that you couldn't be boss, since you didn't have the bloodline ). But did I betrayed you, did I? Not yesterday, not today, not **FOREVER**.

"Voi! I didn't follow you because you're the next boss, I followed you because I like your rage, your power, your anger." yes, they were practically radiating off you. I could sense them, and they were what I decided to follow.

"Then prove it." he said apathetically, like showering me wet all over with a bucket full of cold water. You asshole.

"This," I grabbed a fist full of my long locks of silver hair for emphasis, even though it hurts so much to move even for the tiniest bit of my mangled muscles. Damn that fucking shark.

"I vowed to grow them for you, for all these years I had never cut them and yes you can fucking tell by the length of it. Only an idiot can't. I bow my loyalty to you! I bet my whole life on you! I did everything for you YET you ungrateful bastard dare to blurt out this kind of shitty words what more do you wanted!" I inhaled hard, and long. Forcing oxygen into my boiling lungs that were about to burst in anger.

He froze a little. I saw the shock and sorry in his crimson eyes. But it didn't last very long as I'd expected. It simply faded from the edges of his eyes in the exchange of his simple greetings "How are the others?" _How are the others?_ Did he just asked about them? I didn't expected him to... I thought I caught a spark guilt behind his voice but simply brushed it away quickly.

"Voi.. They're fine." lie. They weren't fine, not at all. Bel and Levi were bombarded into a piece of shit. Lussuria couldn't get out of bed (thanks to Gola Mosca that worthless trash). Mammon, he acted fine but who knows if he wasn't? Crap.

He didn't utter a word but mused.

"We'll be leaving this hell by the next morning." _into another hell._ Tch. It makes no difference at all.

He tilted his head away from me, remained sullen. After leaving both of us in the quiet atmosphere for nearly 3 minutes, he finally moved his lips and uttered one word "water" and immediately dragged my vision to the jug of clean water placed nicely atop of the tea-table at the edge of the room.

"Voi I'll get it." I stood up, like a boneless creature trying all his might just to keep itself standing upright. It hurts. But there was no pain that I, the proud swordsman couldn't withstand. Even so, my soul seemed to be defeated by my body, because I was falling back into my, no, not mine, **THE** shitty wheelchair like a huge elephant losing it's support after being sniped down at a killer point. I managed to hold myself back in position by grasping the bedstead of the bed where he laid. I grimaced and grumbled silently to myself for being such useless and pathetic. Like how he always referred me to trash.

After a little more effort I succeed on standing on my feet, I slowly made my way towards the jug with this worn-out body, painstakingly trying to stay balanced and walked properly like a man.

Well at last, I made it to the tea-table. It was scarcely a few big steps away from where I'd been sitting but it felt like I spent a few hours walking for miles in this goddamned condition. I'd never turned back to see how he would snicker in amusement upon seeing how weak and helpless his ally was, like an insect vs a pangolin. I took a glass and filled it with clear water freshly from the jug. Water drip out from the jug and wet the table cloth ( I knew my hand were shaking, you needed not to remind me about that ), which I'd no intention to bother and walked back.

**XANXUS**

I woke up and found myself in a comfy white bed . My whole body ached and I'd a terrible pain in my head. I dreamt some stupid things which I never wanted to mention so don't expect me to tell. I felt warm under this quilt. They were as good as the one that I had which nearly made me believed that I was in my room, my bed. Of course it wasn't. It didn't need to take a genius to realise that I was laying in a ward, after having my eyes slightly open and saw the white walls and a saline beside me. I expected to see no one. I didn't one anyone to see me in my current state. However...

When I opened my eye wider, I saw him. _That trash_. He was right beside me. My vision of him was blurry but I could tell you for sure it was that trash. He was very anxious-looking, if you asked.

That idiot shark.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I was irritated by the trash's appearance. As I'd said, I did not wish to see anyone. Not even HIM (But at least it's better to have him than to see Levi sitting right beside me when I first woke up. Who knows what the freak might do to me when I was sleeping. ). I didn't know why the trash was here but there are two things for sure i.) he'd been here for sometime ii.) since he'd knew that I wasn't the next boss, he'd either betray me or kill me here. This was how the mafia worked, the weak ones die. Only those who are strong survive. Fucking old geezer! I hate him for all my life!

The trash howled so loudly in reply that it almost burst my eardrums. Damn kasuzame.

"...And kill me alive?" I finished the sentence for the trash. I caught him stupefy on the spot. His mouth was left ajar. His was so stunned that he didn't even bat an eye. I was a little pissed by the trash's stupid look so I asked him to do it or get lost. I was sicked of being denied over and over again.

The trash startled and told me I inspired him and he wasn't going to betray me. I've heard these words from various trashes for a gazillion time. Well, that was normal when you're high and mighty. But THIS was just not normal, not normal to happen in the mafia, especially in a moment like this.

I asked the trash to prove his words. This somewhat exasperated the trash which led him to grab his long locks of silver hair in emphasis with his neatly bandaged right hand and cried out **LOUD**.

"...I did everything for you YET you ungrateful bastard dare to blurt out this kind of shitty words what more do you wanted!" I was a little shocked by the trash's outcry. I saw his eyes burning in angry fire, must be really really pissed by my doubts toward him. I stunned for the tensed moment but then suddenly thought of the others. Besides us both, they were badly injured too. I asked about them to divert from the subject. The trash replied me in a quiet, soft tone. Not as usual as he was. I glanced at him. Lie.

They're fine. That was the trash's answer. But I knew they were not. Even he, himself was having difficulty even just to SIT. I could tell his misery just by looking at the bandage all over him that made him look exactly like an Eyptian mummy ( a loud and alive version ). His trashy answer simply made no sense to me but I decided not to expose his lie and kept quiet.

The trash then went back to his normal self again. He informed me that we'll be heading back to Italy by tomorrow morning. The hell I wanted to know that. I furrowed by eyebrowns, unhappy with this junk piece of news. I wonder what that old fart would drivel again, or freeze me the second time. I simply needed to drink something to calm my nerves that leads me to utter the word "water." There was a jug placed on a tea-table at the corner of the room. I fixed my vision on that direction.

The trash volunteered to get me water. He stood up in a very broken way and almost fell back into the wheelchair but he was saved by grasping the bedstead near him. The trash balanced himself and slowly hobbled his way to the jug. Its was really pathetic to watch him walked like a toddler that had just learnt how to walk. I saw the blend of painful emotions that the trash tried to smother it from me. His brow pursed and twitched in ache. A strange, wretched feeling struck me suddenly as I saw him in that shape. I'd usually laugh in amusement if I saw him in this grotesque manner but somehow I didn't have the urge to laugh. It wasn't funny. Vice versa, it wasn't funny at all.

He safely made his rough journey to the table and poured some water into a glass with his quivering right hand and had another artifical hand ( sword perhaps ) facing the floor to keep himself balanced. He hobbled back in small paces and avoided my vision to his, not like the proud trash he always was, strode vigorously with his nose pointing upwards. He looked like a ragpicker at the dumpsite that would give me an eyesore. I frowned for that moment.

"Your water, boss." the trash handed over the glass of water to me. I can feel the boiling hotness from his fingers beneath those bandages being conducted to me. Was he sick?

"Oi." I grabbed the trash's hand and held it tightly. That move jolted my muscles and veins, but I couldn't care less.

**Squalo**

"Oi." I heard him muffled under his breath. And the next thing I knew was a sudden pain struck me in the hand like electric shock. It hurt so damn much. Fuck it.

"VOOOII what was that for!?" I yelled at him, attempted to swat his hands of mine at the same time. I figured out that he'd found out something, something I didn't want him to know. I hurried broke free from his iron grip and ready to make my runaway. "If there's nothing more then I'll be leaving." I said, clear and precise, enough to end the conversation.

"How long do you attempt to lie to me?" those harsh words that came out from him had paralysed me like charm. Alas, he knew it. He wasn't a candidate of 10th boss for show. I stood in place, wasn't about to admit it or anything. Maybe he hasn't yet saw through it all and I might have a chance to cover things up.

Feign innocence. That was the first thing that came up to my mine. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I spoke out the whole sentence firmly, convincing. Feign innocence, I think, it would make things go away.

"Is... that so?" the outcome was totally unexpectable. He didn't demanded for an answer, but only to mutter softly. His face was like never before. It was somehow.. sad-looking? I didn't how to react at first, but then...

**Xanxus**

"Hahahahaha!" his laugher just irritated me. What the hell was so funny about now!? I didn't understand why. Furiously, I grab a handful of his lustrous silver locks and pulled it against me with full force. An ear-wrecking bawl was immediately let loose into the air, oh yes, no thanks to the damned shark trash for bursting my eardrum for another good billionth time. Flame of wrath boiled inside me. I hate people laughing at ME. I mean, how dare you laugh as if my voice itself was a hilarious joke? And now you wee causing me to forget what I wanted to say.

"Voiiii fuck! That hurts!" That shark winced a little.

"That's what you deserve, trash." I tightened my fist with no mercy, bringing the annoyed shark to only a few inches away from me. Sometimes I even wondered if the trash actually uses conditioner to keep his hair that nicely.

"Voi, you're the one who made me laugh in the first place."

!?

"If you hadn't pull that funny face I wouldn't have laughed. If you had done this before I wouldn't have my ass on the right place now."

I pulled the trash's hair harder, receiving another earth-shattering yell in return.

"So you think it's that funny?" I didn't really know what kind of face I'd made just now, but it's OK 'cause I'll make the trashy shark tell me. Shit my ears were ring now.

"That girly face! How rare for a ruthless tyrant to care for the others! How funny to know that YOU actually have feelings and actually DO show faces like an anxious girl do. I'll frame the photo if I'd taken it, I'll frame it for sure!" The trash's words were full of sarcasm. He even mimicked the what-seemed-like-i-did-just-now face for emphasis.

"Because trashes don't worth my attention." I simply replied. There's just no reason why would the happenings of trashes actually had anything to do with me.

"Voi yeah right that only sounds more like you. The selfish, ungrateful, self-centered shitty you. That's why you can't be the tenth." My brows twitched upon hearing that. Of all times, he chose now to bring up this fucking matter. "That's why nobody likes you. And that's why that Sawada brat was chosen to be the tenth! At lease he do cares about his friends, at lease he knows what are basic manners and appreciation, and AT LEAST he really has friends!"

"So if he's so damn right perfect then why don't you follow that weakling!? Why don't you just leave now and fly over to ass-kiss him? Why don't you grow your hair for another 10 meters more for him!? Why don't you cut your right hand and hand it in to him!?" I loosen my grip on the trash's hair and delivered a smack to the nearest veneer from me, devastated. "And yeah you're so right about me for not giving a hell care of you trashes and you know what I NEVER care about you, NEVER care for what you want, NEVER worship ANY of you trashes and I'm only using YOU as a TOOL to help ME to get what I want!"

The trash threw a bunch of scornful words as he jump to his feet and left for the door. I didn't know a half-eaten-by-monster man could walk that fast until now, when strings of his hair fluttered by me for a split-second and l'd never see it again. _Wait- _ I heard the staggering footsteps getting further and further away followed by a loud slam of the door. Words refused to escape my mouth, stuck in there creating a discomfort lump in my throat. The room quiesced but tension rose. I smashed the glass of water on the floor, listened to the noise it made as it shattered into a uncountable flakes of transparent silica petals, batted the saline away, sent it flying to the mid-air before crashing into the white walls at the meantime, strapping the tube of my hand and it hurt and bled. Furious rose as the awkward silence and the intense coldness pressed against me. I swatted everything to the floor, kicking everything within my vision and banged at the wall hard, creating a chaos in here but I know this time, nobody will be here to clean up the mess I'd made. My breath ragged. I was all alone, in nothingness except silence and cold. Red liquid streamed down my hand, treated wounds were ripped open once again and the instant pain overwhelmed me, like being pecked by countless filthy crows. _Alone.. Denied.._ Choler grew in me even more, and trashing things didn't help. I began to regret what I'd say just now. Had I not doing the right thing? No. Definitely not. Mustn't be my fault but the trash's. He was the one for starter. Maybe if he didn't started to laugh I wouldn't even blurted out words before being processed. Maybe if he didn't compared me to that shitty weakling I wouldn't had chased him away.

But now he was gone. And he wouldn't try to break my eardrums anymore.

_But you are the only friend that I've got. You're the only thing I have. And you can't fucking leave me just like that, not without a proper reason. _I looked at my hand that touched the trash just now. His hand felt hot in mine. Was him having a high-fever? I wondered. But it was to late to do anything now. Shit.

**Squalo**

I wasn't sure whether what hurt more, the physical injuries that was practically everywhere on my body, or his words.

_I_ _NEVER care about you, and I'm only using you as a TOOL to help ME to get what I wanted! I NEVER care about you I NEVER care about you I'm only using you I'm using you..._Why couldn't my head stop rewinding them? It was just so sickening. Every wisp of air was squashed of by the shock and I can hardly breath. I should have knew that all along, that he was just an ungrateful bastard like he was now. Why the fuck did he cared anyways? I was just a tool, to him. I couldn't bear to stay here any longer, I'd explode of anger_._

"Oh great for me to be trifled all around. Voi and to make it clear, I DID NOT cut my left hand for YOU!" I didn't forget to hurl a quick 'fuck you anus' before slamming the door as hard as I could, leaving him and his fucking dick behind in the icy room. As I stomped out the ward, a heavy feeling in the head made me dizzy. I shook the blurred vision growing from the edges of my eyes away as I spot Levi standing by the corner of the hallway, with two crutches to support him. That idiot must be here to annoy Xanxus again. Why couldn't that lost puppy just leave the dickhead alone? I resisted the very urge to face-palm.

"Voi! Get lost will you!?" I tuned to my maximum volume, hoping him to take the hint and leave because I know Xanxus wouldn't want him around but why was I still doing him favors? Why didn't I just let Levi disturb him? Why did I care? That katana brat must have hit the rationality out of me.

Levi remained there stubbornly, like a wife that was eager to meet her long-lost husband. My voice didn't even succeed in making him move a muscle.

"Gone deaf!? I said he's seeing no one!"

Levi gave me the most idiotic look I'd ever seen from him, his eyes were flashing zealously but filled with malice, not that I'll be taken aback by shitty looks. "I don't need your permission to see boss," he said with a raspy voice. "plus it's none of your business." What kind of person was this? Hadn't I state myself clear enough? He must be either to thick-headed, or he just defied me on purpose.

"Xanxus need a rest. Give him a fucking break will you?" I must had sounded desperate because Levi actually listened to me for the first time and tottered back into the endless hallway with a disappointing look in his face. My legs had been shaking violently since I got off the wheel chair and I hoped Levi hadn't notice that. But perhaps if he actually saw me shaking, it won't do him any good because he himself looked like he was going to topple any moment if not for the crutch.

The throbbing in my head was getting harder to ignore by moments, plus the giddy feeling was growing stronger that made me wanted to puke. I sped up my pace, intended to get back to my ward as quick as possible. I couldn't allow myself to lay unconscious in the hallway, not in public. But my body didn't felt like cooperating, because I crumpled into a useless heap as my legs gave away instantly. I sworn at my own uselessness the moment my chin kissed the ground and tasted a familiar metallic scent. I could feel the stitches ripped open from my jerky movement, and new wave of exquisite pain overlapped the unfading, existing pain. No time to whine. I'd to get up before someone saw me. Slowly, I tried to stand back by clawing my hand into the ledge and hauled myself up despite of the heavy feeling that was sagging me. I'm glad to have my sword with me because it kind of providing a support. I succeeded and continued my way back but before I took more than 6 tiny steps my hair mopped the ground again. Then I sensed breaths in air. I wasn't alone.

"Are you OK mister? Let me help you. " The man in front of me lent me his hand. I didn't look at him, didn't reached out for him, I gritted my teeth instead.

"Scamper." I growled in my throat. Sympathy was the last thing I needed.

"C'mon dude, accepting a lil' help won't hurt. " His irksome and carefree words sounded of mockery to me. What am I, an good-for-nothing cripple? I'd almost forgot that I was having my sword attached to me, and that a normal civilian would've flee at the sight of me instead of approaching a madman with long hair that was sprawling on the ground to offer him some help. My instinct had reminded me about that. And the weird feeling I'm sensing from this guy proved it well.

"Drop it, Mammon." I uttered to the air. The man immediately vanished from my sight as the infant revealed himself from the turning of the hallway. So he was fine huh? Or this was just another illusion I'd fell for? The infant levitated, I scowled at him. No, he was real, I could still tell.

"Fine. " Mammon's voice floated above me, he looked unscathed. "But you're still paying me for that." He disappeared into dark corners as soon as he declared himself. Like I owed him one, that bloody little conman.

I hoisted myself off the cold tiles the best I could. This exacerbated the ache that was growing everywhere. I managed to stand on my feet, though. I cinched the ledge lest from collapsing. I hasten for my ward, dragging my heavily injured legs along before anyone saw me by chance. Black patches scraped together slowly from the corners of my eyes. It seemed like I was running out of time before unconsciousness decided to descent on me. The air had never felt that cold before. I couldn't tell where I was heading exactly because the hallway seemed endless and it was rotating around me, merging into a spinning kaleidoscope of obscure images. I kept moving forward without knowing my feet would lead me. It was getting harder to breath and more aching was required to trade with air that I could only afford shallow ones. _Just fall_. I heard a voice chanting. _You can't do this anymore, your wearing yourself. Nobody even cares if you fucking died_. _Not that HE care_. I began to see phantasm of various people I didn't recognize, random things I wasn't sure what. What were real and what were not? I couldn't differentiate. Where was I heading now? Where was I? Why was I here? I felt nothing when the coldness ran through the surface of my body, I didn't resisted the gravity that took me down, allowing a free fall. I saw raven ghosts in gory state floating above me, beside me, everywhere; some were only heads, some were human. They chapped lips were moving, talking, cursing, screaming in my head, something I couldn't remember too clearly. Their eyes were glaring at me, fiery, filled with blood vessels. What did they want from me? After so much anguish they thrashed upon me? But then, instead of knocking hard onto frigid surface, I dropped into the embrace of warmth and softness. Fighting hard for control of myself, I turned to see the source of gentleness through my veiled sight.

**Dino**

I sneaked out in the middle of the victory celebration that Tsuna and his gang were having. Thank god they actually won. Xanxus was just too scary, far too powerful for anyone. If Tsuna couldn't stop him then I didn't know who could. It was over now. Everything that had happened felt like yesterday. I felt my own sigh of relief as I headed to the Namimori hospital alone, although Romario and the other famiglia members insisted to follow along. Instead I asked them to stay at the party. I knew that they only wanted to protect me and I did appreciate their kindness but I really didn't intent to freak the gut out of civilians by allowing throngs of black-suits in the hospital. I let out a small eep when my body tilted forward before hitting the ground with a thud. Strange. I'd tripped my own foot for 7 times, slipped on nothing for 11 times and knocked into something (mostly walls and poles) for an umpteenth time since the last time I saw Romario. How could I be such a klutz? I scratched the back of my head nervously and stood up only to sit back down to the ground. Ouch, my poor hips...

I hastily mounted myself up, remembering the important task that the Ninth had entrusted me to perform. The Ninth had asked me to check out his son (or his adoptive son, more specifically and also at the meantime, to keep an eye on him. I couldn't really understand why was it necessary for Xanxus to pull such a desperate act of betrayal? I shook my head at his maniacal yet so meticulous plan, although it didn't turned out as a big coup. It wasn't so easy to persuade the janitor to allow me to get pass during non-visiting time (I don't suppose any hospital will let anyone to arouse patients in the late night.), but I managed to, thanks to my mother for blessing me with such charming face and of course, not without a few thousands yen for bribing use...

The nurse at the counter pointed me the way to where the Varias' were warded since I'd not remember the direction. I gave her my best regards and my most winning smile. She blown-kiss in return, face flushed. That was the advantage of being the favours of the Eve's kind. I walked a few steps away gracefully before... Before I landed face-first in a clumsy piece. I just broke my gentlemen image in front of a lady by my own foolishness! I scurried off, sang silent prayer not to fall again but it seems like god was looking for an amusement that time because I tripped instantly. Why, God, why!?

When I finally got down to the hallway near the Varias, I saw a long-haired patient plodding afar. I assumed that person was a lady at first since she looked so slender. I wondered why she was out here rather than staying in bed. The lady was shaky and miserable-looking. I got closer in, intended to provide some help. I stood at the corner of the white walls in aghast because the flimsy lady I saw was actually Squalo (I must admit that I'm way too moron to realize this particular 'lady' had a sword with 'her'.)! Holy god he was on his feet! Did my eyes deceived me? Was this the hallucination for knocking my head too many times!? Impossible! He was half-eaten by the beast and he could barely even move his fingers! Plus, he was cuffed to his bed! Before I was able to recover from the seizure of shock, Squalo dropped to the ground with a tiny wail despite his best effort not too. He squirmed and dragged himself up on his feet; his face was ashen and horrible. The silverette plummeted against the floor after a few arduous steps. I was about to dash out and help him before I saw a man about in his mid-twenties came out of nowhere and offer Squalo a hand. I froze. No one should be here this late! Plus, there was something about this fellow, he'd got a strange aura. Then only I figured out he was an illusion. Now this was dangerous. Which illusionist could it be? What did that person intended to do? My mind raced.

The Varia's mist guardian revealed himself from behind after the silverette declined his help. So it was him.

"Fine. But you're still paying me for that." I heard him said. Pay for what? A prank? I scratched the back of my head as the illusionist faded from my range of vision.

I watch the silverette hitched down the hallways, more ragged this time. He didn't seemed to know where he was heading exactly because his ward was the opposite direction of where he was going now (at lease that was what I think).

I followed him from a noticeable distance, but he didn't seemed to realise. I guess he was just too fatigued to be that alert. His breath attenuated, steps getting heavier by second that he was practically dragging them. Should I approach him now? He looked like he was about to swoon. Just then, he slanted backwards, and he didn't resisted. I plunged without wasting a second, preventing him from hitting the ground hard. I got hold of him the nick of time but my sloppiness hit at this critical moment so both of us dropped to the floor with me acting as a human mattress. Cold ache hit the back of my body, spreading slowly to the front but I know this is nothing compared to what Squalo had gone through. I smelled blood and sweat through his curtains of silver hair, his body felt so hot like it was boiling. He turned to face me, and I saw the shock and hatred flowing out from his blurred eyes.

"Fucking horse!" I jumped a little, quite startled by how he could still managed to shout so loud in that kind of condition. I said nothing.

"VOI! Goddamned let me off!" He twitched and swung his sword. I started to wonder if I'd done the right thing by letting him have his sword.

"Where's you wheelchair, Squa-"

"For the last time, it's not mine!"

"Don't be stubborn Squalo! I mean, look at you!" I grabbed and joggled his shoulders."Do you seriously think you can push yourself to walk in such pathetic state? Give yourself a break! This is not about pride-"

"I DO NOT NEED YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY!" His harsh, deranged voice masked a tired and gloomy soul behind.

"I AM NOT!" I yelled back, not caring if his thundering bawl made me deaf, or wake other patients. "You're heavily wounded Squalo, you looked as if you're boiled zombie and I doubt if you're NOT having a high fever! Will you just listen to me once and quit being foolish will you? Please, Squalo." I forced him to look straight into my eyes, even though he diverted away. There was a thick tension formed between us, unable to calm, reluctant to calm. Both of us stayed silent, until the silverette gave a demunitive shake of his head.

"Why?" He murmured wearily. It was audible, but I'd never heard such quiet voice came out of him before. I watched his cracked lips moving from the sideway.

"Why didn't you just let me perished to the bottom of hell? Why did you make me suffer from this? I fucking lost, not just the battle, but everything I have. " He choked. "I HATE YOU, CARVARONE! YOU AND YOUR IDIOTIC KINDNESS! Why do you have to show up every time when I am nothing more than a failure!" And he began to shout obscenities at me. I allowed him to swear to his heart content.

"I didn't saved you just because I wanted information from you." I said after he finished throwing his temper tantrum. "I saved you because... I can't bear to see an..old friend die in front of..me. "

I watched how the silverette smothered the surprise behind his silver eyes. This, was the very first time I'd found him so wretched, but astounded in the same time.

"Voi... Friends? Don't make me laugh, bucking horse. We are just like light and darkness, and nothing more than that." He snorted in disdain. I chuckled as I helped him up, he let me. "And I wouldn't want such a butterfingered chap as a friend! I'm fine as I am." He refused my support once he stood up, quivering from cold and pain.

"Although light and darkness are pretty much opposite to each other, they're correlated to each other. Light exist because of darkness. Darkness exist in presence of light. Both interlace as one important element." I forced a hand through his underarm, sharing half of the silverette's weight. "Helping each other to shine by its own existence." He emitted but didn't recoiled. We walked down the desolated hallway, white lamps dangled at random intervals above the sterilized tiles, dazzling irregular light with a sense of loneliness.

"Hey Squalo."

"Voi. What?"

"You could have been the boss, you know. You didn't have to enslave yourself to anyone..."

"I don't care if I'm the boss or not. And voi I did not enslave myself to anyone."

"What about Xanxus? You devoted to him and got nothing good in the end-"

"Shut up." He snapped. "I don't need you to be concerned of my life."

"I don't see why you need to cling onto him any longer." I continued, not caring if he was reluctant to listen. "He doesn't even thinks you as a human-" "SO JUST WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM, huh? Quit sticking your nose into my business will you!" "Yes I know nothing about him-nothing but what I DO know is that you suffered for him, became a walking carcass for him and losing your dignity for him! He doesn't appreciate what you've done for him Squalo! He just doesn't! He takes it for granted and who knows what he might do to you one day if you outlives your value to him!" I pointed out how someone like him shouldn't get such treatment. "You don't deserved to be stepped on! Where is your pride, Squalo!?"

"Voi..." His mouth agape, speechless. I didn't turned to face the silverette.

"You can always leave him, and...join me. There's always a space...reserved for you."

"I..don't know." He whispered ruefully, staring on the floor. His tangled hair hanged loosely across his torso. Every single string of his argent hair looked as if they were made of fine, glossy silver threads that were plastered with pomade, reflecting the lonely lights of the hallways.

We reached his ward within moments. I slid open the door and help him to his bed. His wheelchair was right beside the bed, damaged to its worthless remains; while the handcuffs, were utterly destroyed once and for all. The ropes that were used to tie him up were also ruined. I made him stay in the bed as I beckoned a nurse. I wondered how he actually did, sometimes you must really salute such a stubborn person.

"NO!" He screeched. "Erm... Voi... I just don't one anyone other than you to see me in this state." He tilted his head slightly to the right, looking embarrassed.

"But I can't leave your wounds untreated. And you're sick." I pointed my fingers at his maroon-spotted bandages.

"Just give me a fucking pack of ice and some anodye and I'll be fine."

"Sigh. At least let me treat your wounds." I searched for antiseptics, new bandages, cooling pad and some pain killer. I found them in the drawers of the cupboards, along with cottons, trays, disposable syringe and some other medicines and creams I didn't recognize. I place the cooling pad on the silverette's head and took the tray to the bathroom to fill it with hot water. Unfortunately, I slipped and fell to the ground chin-first. Pain busted from the pitiful place and it stung and hurt, let alone my thumb that had accidentally caught in between drawers just now. _Oww~~ _I heard amused laughter from behind.

"Hahaha! Still the same as 8 years ago huh? Hahaha... You haven't change a bit, butter horse!" I didn't mind his jeer, instead I laughed along with him, a little more bitterly. "Butter horse" is the nickname that Squalo referred me to back in our teenage years, mainly because of my clumsiness. I called him "snorty shark" in return of his compliment. I placed the half-filled tray on the sideboard, extended my hand to remove his clothes.

"Voi, voi. What the hell now!?" He winced back, tugging himself in the sheets.

"Chill, Squalo. I just want to change your bandages. They're far too dirty to provide protection."

"Just gimme that, and get the hell out." He snatched the wad of bandage and gestured me to leave. I grabbed a tube of med-cream and some ointments and settle my hips on the chair beside him.

"Why? Afraid to be raped? You sure look sexy in these."

"Fuck you!" I laughed out loud until my tummy hurt. Squalo kept whacking me in the head, but the punches landed like nothing more than the weight of a flea. His cooling pad dropped to the side of the bed.

"Okay, okay haha I'm sorry! I just want to help you apply the meds on your injuries! You can't possibly do that to your back can you?" "Well fine! I'm afraid of nothing!" He immediately removed his clothings then his bandages, revealing his tender, torned flesh in an angry red patched with ripped stitches and cracked maroon scabs all over. His teeth chattered from coldness so I turned up the thermostat. I slicked his skin with a layer of salve. He did the same to the other terrible, sickening wounds.

"Hmm... Cooling." Squalo mumbled drowsily, his eyelids were half-closed as I apply the pricy ointment on the back of his body. He laid on the fluffy bed comfortably, hiding both his hands that were coated in fresh bandages under the while pillows, relaxing his always-tensed muscles. He sounded tired, but in ease. I stared at his state of rest, the rise and drop of his chest played an unnamed rhythm. I called out for him softly. He looked at me through his droopy eyes. I wondered if his brain could interpret the image of me.

"I'm not done yet." I whispered. "Your body need to be dressed."

"Hmph.. Fine." The silverette grumbled. He sat up and did rest of the dressing himself.

"I'll get you a nurse for your regular injections, and also some congee by the way."

"Voi.. Don't you dare." He growled, "But I don't mean the food."

"Haha. Hungry eh? I bet even Xanxus' left over tastes good to you now." I joked.

"He always finish his food. Except.. except the peas, carrots, spring onions, and.. broccoli sometimes..." He bit his inner cheeks. "Voi no one is eating his unwanted stuff!"

"Haha! Is that really what happens to his left overs? I didn't know that he needs someone to clean up his mess in everything!"

"Voi. Mind your words." He voice turned low and dangerous instantly. His gaze was intense.

"Just one thing." I tried to speak in a calm voice. I took a deep breath before I managed to ask: "Why, I mean, what is just so good about him?", expecting an outraged shark.

"You know nothing about him. Me and him." The outcome wasn't what I thought it'd be, but not too great, either ways. He removed his artificial hand before wriggling to find a comfortable position to drift off, away from me. " Get the food fast, I hate to wake up for the second time." That was the last I heard from him before leaving the room. He remained lying on bed, awake, and stared straight into the blanket of blackness outside the window.

The sliding door shut with a soft click.

**Xanxus**

I didn't know what to say. Can't think more properly with tangled knot of god-knows-what emotions swimming in my head. This place was worst than an inferno──cold, quiescence, void, lone. Shark... There was a pang of guilt hit me, inside, I was not sure where. I thought you were strong, because you never fell no matter how many times I fired at you. You always survive, you bent and stretched and compressed the way I'd wanted you to, as frequently as I'd like. And I never cared how you might felt, because I thought that you were capable of dealing with everything. Came to think of it, I didn't even know when is your birthday...

Just like the trash you were! A useless scum that can't even deal with such menial shits. And why should I fucking care about you? Who do you think you were? Served you right for being fish's food! And you know what, I laughed and laughed so hard that I wheezed at the sight of your pathetic death! Buahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! But why, why did I grieved at something that funny? Why did water sprung from the sides and smeared my sight for no reason? Why did I not lost to the world even after boozing more than I could really take it? Why did I found a dampen pillow the next day I woke up?

What kind of evil spell did you secretly cast on me you fucking, cunning shark!? Why were you such a damned serious affection? I didn't understand. Silence was hard to bear. Everything didn't felt right, even breathing itself without the existence of the other's steady breathing was weird and edgy? Without that shitty trash... There were no replacement for that holy thing, the empty space that trash shark had rooted in. Blood was still running freely on the cuts and grazes I'd got from trashing, drop by drop it dyed the disordered floorboard red. Mess, just like me. Son of a nothing, a mess, a scum. I watched you leave just like that, didn't say a word to stop you from leaving, from walking out of my life. I was waiting you here, just in front of the door, did you know that? But you didn't came back, not like you always did after we fought and insulted each other. I turned, stepping on the trashes and probably stepped on the stupid glass because sharp pain drilled my bare feet. I ignored that.

I stared outside the window. A vague reflection of a scarred, blunt and ireful man showed before me. His crimson, fiery eyes, hidden with thousands of untold tales, stared into me. His gaze was so intense, guilt and regret was tracked in those of his. Yellowish-orange diamonds glittered and sparkled like distant stars along with his gaze, flashing on the man. They glimmered into my opaque oculus. They blurred, became larger and larger and soon they were covering the silhouette on the glass surface, took over the room and I was seeing variegated speed lines.

I didn't know anything anymore.

**Romario**

My my, being the right-hand man of Boss must be the most challenging and tiring job on Earth.

That silly Boss! What was he up to now? He couldn't do anything right without me anywhere near him! So where the heck was him now!? I looked around Sawada's place. No sign of Boss. He just told me that we'd go to Ninth's place after he came out of the John. Could he had gone there himself? Arghhhhh he was making me crazy! How could he just left like that! He'd get hooked by his own leg! This wasn't the first time anymore!

Anyhow I wasted no time and hurry off to the Ninth's, leaving all the others behind. But the Ninth was already at rest and his guardians hadn't seen him in a hundred years but they recalled the Ninth had asked for privacy a while ago. Mother Mary! Please tell me where the heck was he! The Cavarone familia could not be burdened more to have him hurt!

Brabanters Schnitten, the ninth rain guardian placed a hand on my shoulder from behind.

"Any idea where our Boss is?" I asked, hoping for some pointers.

"No." He replied, and passed two boxes to me. One was a small but heavy chest, ther other was an arm-length black case.

"What for?" I asked, not fathomed of the purpose of this. Searching for an answer from his scarred face. There's a 'x' shaped scar marred on the right side of his face, another one on across his nose, another on the lower left. It was hard to ignore the mist of unfriendly aura that was spreading.

"The Ninth's life was almost jeopardized because of the beast. The best if we put him to sleep. But Timoteo won't ever agree that. So if you're going to look for bucking horse in the hospital, you may want to use this." I opened the both the chest and case for a peep. Two pairs of cuffs covered with the maximum intensify rain flames. Too strong that I have to close it immediately. The case, it's a half-automated tranquilizer gun with silencer, I doubted if the darts were filled of strong drug or lethal serum of some sort. My glassed almost dropped at the sight of these, I found myself trembled a little even though I should be long used to all this.

"You want him dead?" I asked, closing the case.

"Not dead. Just put him into the longest sleep possible. Coyote and Ganauche lll want it this way, not of my decision to be precise." He loosen his tie. "Supposingly we should wait until Timoteo decide what to do with him, of course we all know there's only death penalty awaits betrayers, but obviously Timoteo will be blinded the moment he sees his 'son'. The rest of us decide this will be the best for everyone. We cannot forsee what'll happen in future but since he has already daring to come this far then we shouldn't hesitate to respond anymore." I gulped.

"This is cruel."

"But this is the consequence Xanxus has to face, he should of know before acting brainlessly. There's no need to pity the wild beast, think of what the marble-hearted has done." _But I was the one that was going to do this_. I looked at the chest, then back to him.

"So what's with the cuffs? Decorations?"

"If that's how you interpret that."

"This is totally absurd. I refuse." I shook my head and returned him the boxes. I'd better find Boss quick, perhaps he'd knew something.

"You will put Xanxus to sleep." Nougat Coyote, the ninth storm guardian was already behind me, blocking my way with a threatening look that settled deep in his voice. Visconti, the ninth cloud guardian with gray oiled hair backed him up.

"We don't have choice. Please understand this, Mr. Romario. We do not wish to raise an alarm here." Schnitten was already in a tensed posture, but his voice was still as calm as before. The characteristic of a rain guardian. But Ganauche lll already had the dangerous part of his gun poked to my back. _I think you're using the wrong word 'we'._ I was left with no way out. I took the deadly boxes and left unscathed. Shaking a little.

I managed to sneak pass the hospital guard and the nurses on-duty and arrived in front of Xanxus' ward. I swallowed my saliva. I hope he was sleeping. _I'm sorry, I have to do it. I pray sincerely to Mother Mary there's a antidote for this horrible thing. _I forced a deep breath and opened the door as unnoticeable as possible. I placed an eyeball at the crack and scanned the room for him. Holy Jesus! This place was a bedlam! Blood and glass pieces and pillow and bandages and useless remains of porcelain and split water and damaged stuff and whatever were every where, practically filling up the room! I spot him looking outside the window, mumbling to himself about something like 'You fucking idiot' 'Liar' and 'Scums' and such. Now this was my chance! I aimed the gun at him through the small crack. Just as I was about to fire, something soft landed on my head and it wriggled. Lizard! I jumped and missed the body but I was sure I shot it into him somewhere because he slumped to the ground after I got that disgusting thing off me. The touch of its yucky body made me nauseated. Better not to think of it.

I entered the room. It was very very chaotic here. I saw blood stains here and there, he must'd hurt himself. I examined him, checked he pulse. It was steady but weaker, like a lion in its deep slumber. I could hardly believe someone that fearsome would had received such fate. I looked at him, he was wounded here and there with previous and recent ones. So the dart embedded in the heel that was already covered in fresh blood? There were tiny glass remains in his ball of foot. I removed the dart from his heel and moved him to the bed before cuffing both his hand to the sides of bed. He was heavy, taller compared to me and I was having a hard time moving him onto the bed within such a limited space for me to drag him. The tranquilizing effect of the cuffs were too strong that they were weakening me as I cuff them to Xanxus and I'd to release it quickly. I tried to nurse his wounds as it wouldn't be a good idea to beckon a nurse to come here and find a chaos in here and the patient would never wake up for a good eternity and that the mystery of who'd pressed the emergency button when the patient was already drugged. I suddenly remembered of finding Boss so I left the room immediately. Of course, I'll come back for him after I found Boss, Boss was my top priority after all. Also, dead man don't run. (Yes he wasn't dead but paralyzed was not much different with dead, right?)

I went out to search for Boss, leaving the him and the gun in there.

**Dino**

Just as I walked down the hallways, I met Romario with his suit distorted. He was stewing. He ran for me.

"Romario! What are you doing here?" I tripped over the stupid shoe and fell, banging my lower chin with the ground. Romario was about shout out but I shushed him and he shut up. He came to help me up.

"I went around looking you! You didn't ran into trouble did you?"

"No. I came here safely from the Ninth's place." I lied. I fell and knocked into poles and caught my hand between doors for an umpteen time along my way. I tried to hide my injuries and acted as if I'd none, even the obvious one at my chin hurt, I almost forgot that it was still bleeding a little. "But it seems like you did. What happen? You don't look good."

"It's Xanxus, the Ninth's guardians want him." Romario swipe his thumb across his neck, looking pale. Whispering. "And I'm their skivvy."

"Impossible. They'll never do such things. Ninth's men are all sane people." My eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yeah they're so sane that they threaten my life to put him to sleep." Romario adjusted his suit and his glasses. "Xanxus' act has knock all the marbles out of them and now they want to finish him so badly that anyone else does."

I believed Romario's story, even if I doubted that they'd be so impulsive. But Romario was a noble and loyal subordinate and he wouldn't lie. I known Romario more than I do with those guardians. I trusted him.

"Have you done it yet?" I questioned in an urgent voice. Frowning, Romario gave me a imperceptible nod and showed an emptied dart. I gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"I know you didn't mean to do this. But it's a punishment to him too. No need to blame yourself."

"Oh my, I need to go back to clean up the mess! Come on!"

"You guys had a fight?"

"Nope, but his room is hell of a place and he's got himself hurt everywhere. I'll tell you the details in the room. Won't be nice to have someone eavesdropping." I nodded, and hastened along with Romario as quietly as possible. Sure enough, the room was impossible! Wait, was this even counted as a room? I struggled to find empty spaces to land my feet on. Broken chairs, shattered glasses, scattered pils, pillows, dried blood, coverette... They were everywhere, absolutely deranged. _Must be the fight with Squalo that caused_. I recalled Squalo coming from not far from Xanxus' room. Romario was already beside Xanxus, with some simple aid with him. I neared him, dipped a cotton ball in the water tray and dabbed it on his wounds.

"Is there a cure?"

"I don't know." Romario focused on the nursing. "Probably not. They are very determined to erase him."

"So, another craddle affair? It's a pity though." I applied antiseptics onto the cleaned cuts and graze. I noticed that fade bluelit at the sides of the bed, there cuffed his bandaged hands. I reached his hand for healing, but the flames on the cuffs were too strong that I drew away immediately, like a little kid that touched a hot kettle by accident.

"How did you managed to cuff him? These flames are compressed and harsh."

"It was hard, I'd to do it quickly."

"Can't believe a man that is once his name'd set a person's soul sky high, that'd kill a person with only a glare, that'd summon the deadliest flames to his hands and cremate a person to hell, that was afeared by the rest of the world for his inhumane power, is now laying pathetic for eternity." I sighed. "Yes it's good to have him asleep but it doesn't feel right."

"He'd played his role enough Boss. It's time for him to rest now."

"Yeah." I scratch the glass pieces out of his foot with a card that I could found.

**Xanxus**

I'd the same kind of feeling before. Some time ago, I couldn't recall. The world around me was of blackness and voidness. The sensation of falling, falling, falling, being devoured by dark waters, engulfed by the deepest of abyss...Not a soul in sight, not a noise, not a spark. I couldn't feel myself, see myself, or even hear my own voice. The unseen, the unheard, the insensate grasped me, mangled me, drowned me. Nothing existed except me, wasn't so sure if I even existed. Who was I? Where was this? Why was I here? No answers. I fell, fell, fell. No idea how I got in. Not idea how to get out. Falling. Down. To the bottomless pit of nothing. I wanted to utter, wanted to shout, wanted to whisper, wanted to swear, wanted to grumble. Nothing happens no matter how hard I tried. I was trapped. Chewed. Devoured.

Down. Down. Down.

Voices floated above. I couldn't reach, couldn't hear, couldn't interpret the voice. Soft. Distinctive. Unreachable. Distant. I was enraged, seethed, but I couldn't get angry. Couldn't do a thing, not even expressing emotions.

I fell.

"...the man, afeared by the rest of the world for his inhumane power, is now laying pathetic for eternity."

Soft, leavened voice. Couldn't know of whose. Who was the man?

"Indeed. Monsterous beast must be obligated." Another voice whispered. Light and weightless, like feather. I didn't recognized any of the voice.

"How do you defeat the fearsome creature?"

"By only a touch that turns it ice hard as semen."

Sounded familiar. I wanted to cinch something to prevent myself from falling. But there was nothing for me. I wanted to hear more, didn't want to lose track with the voice creeping above.

"Everyone wants him to vanish into thin air and never exists again."

"The Ninth's guardian threatened me to put this on him. They pointed weapons to me when I refused."

"Good of them to think of that. We cannot afford to have the untamed beast alive."

"Squalo, I'll convince him from leaving. I almost succeed."

Squalo, who was that? Or what was that? I'd heard of it. Couldn't remember. I knew the name. Familiar. Like I'd hear it everyday. It must be something important to me. Something important...

"Now Tsunayoshi has defeat him, he'll be send back to Italy to be chastised for his treachery."

Tsunayoshi. Didn't sounded like anything of my liking. I could only think of abhorrence.

"The Ninth'll be so pleased to find him paralyzed."

What paralyzed? The Ninth'd be pleased? Still couldn't figured it out. Ninth... What was that?

"Voi! I did not cut my left hand for you!"

I sweared I'd just heard this voice, this line, this tone. It was someone's. Someone very important. Someone whom I didn't ever want to leave. Someone I couldn't afford to lose.

Someone who didn't, wouldn't betray me even when the whole world did.

Someone who never denied my existence. Someone Important...

Important... Squalo. Yes! It was him! How do he looks like?

_The silver strains futtered by me for a split-second and then I see no more._

Silver, long lubricant locks, much of a beauty from behind. Tall, slender but strong. Proud, like the king of the ocean. Shark. Yes. The shark trash. Proud and loud.

Suddenly I was seeing visions. Surrounded me. They spun fast. I took in everything I could. I was still falling, they fell with me too.

Loathing faces came in sight. I saw that how that old fart driveled to the weak trash about whatever chosen one and the brat called him granpa. I saw the stupid faces they made when the cow brat was electrocuted to death. I saw Squalo jumped into the dangerous water and never returned, except a pool of blood that came to view. I saw the trash girl with her abdomen inflatted. I saw the arrogant trash called me the king of monkey. I saw the trash I hated the most made a stupid pose.

The zero-point breakthrough.

He freezed me. Just like what that old fart did to me. He betrayed me, they betrayed me. I loathed them, I cursed them all to burn in the deepest abyss of hell.I hate them all. But the anger died down. I fell.

Down. Down. Down.

"I'll take Squalo in, make him the new boss of a new familia and give half of our men to him. I want to help him to free himself from being Xanxus' slave. What do you say, Romario?"

"Just as you pleased."

Xanxus... That is my name. It has a double x in it. I was the one who was meant to be the tenth boss. The Vongola Boss ring, it should be on my middle finger. But it was empty there. I didn't feel a thing. Squalo, nobody was going to take him away from me. He was mine, is mine, always mine. He wasn't my slave. He was an important asset. He wouldn't,won't follow anyone but me.

I'd to stop that scum of the Earth. I needed to wake up. I needed energy, flames, rage, fire.

_Fucking bastards you all. Don't ever think that I'll just end like that. I don't take no one's command, can't be controlled and burns like wild fire. I'm the power. The power is me. And I will awake now. Of hatred. Of fury. Of being deceived. For Squalo. For me._

I felt the hotness rising. I could feel the surge of energy, power, running through my vein. Exaggerated by every pulse. I could feel me more. _Time to get things right_. I burned within. I roared, I bellowed. Didn't work. Nothing changed. I was still falling.

Down. Down. Down.

_"You don't look good, son. Did something upset you?"_

_"Ruffle." _

_"So, why are you infuriated? You seemed to be agitated all time."_

_"Stupid trashes made me angry."_

_"That don't seemed like the reason, son."_

_"Then what?"_

_"Do ever noticed that you're the one who's causing yourself to be furious."_

_"No."_

_"Look son, you don't need to be so arrogant. If you try to get along with other people perhaps you won't be so lonely and emotional now."_

_"I don't want to be with scums. I don't want to be like them. Lowly."_

_"Why do you say so?"_

_"..."_

_"I know that you aren't happy that your mother can't join us here. I apologize for that, son."_

_"Why would I want her here? She's the one who left me here. And she's mental."_

_"Your mother knew she can't take care of you well enough. She only want the best for you, son."_

_"I don't want to keep thinking that I'm a scum. A denied, unwanted trash."_

_"Don't say so. You're the best child I've ever had."_

_"No. I'm illegitimate. I'm a mutt."_

_"It's not like that, son. Birth doesn't have anything to do with your life. You have the flame that no one has. Will you show it to me again?"_

_"That's right son! Do you know that the flame that you summoned so easily to your hands are exactly like those of the Vongola Secondo?"_

_"The Vongola Secondo is the only boss that fought with bare hands because his flame of wrath was so strong and hard. He was the strongest boss of all."_

_"It was said that the Secondo also had a bad temper and no patience, but he controlled it well enough and that greatly increased his power. If you control your emotions and change them into power, my son, you will be as great as him too."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes, son. The greatest boss ever exist."_

_"Can I really be that?"_

_"Of course! If you behave well enough."_

_"What about my brothers?"_

_"You'll have to compete with them. Nothing comes falling from the sky. So, do you want to hear more about the Secondo?"_

Lies. All lies. I hate that old fart. He knew that I couldn't, never be the boss. Deceiver. Betrayer. Yet I believed your words. How ludicrous.

_"I love you like my own, son."_

_"No you don't. You spent more time with my brothers."_

_"You know that I'm always busy."_

_"Yeah you so are that you went to a dinner with everyone except me."_

_"I'm sorry that I didn't told you about the dinner because I remembered you saying you don't like social events. I'll bring you along next time."_

_"There'll be no next time."_

Fucking old fart. You didn't wanted me to go because the dinner consisted of only family members and you really thought I know nothing about it? What undying affection, pieces of worthless shits! You made me so fucking angry you damned senile old farts. I'd make you regret that you ever taught me this.

_"...control your emotions and change them into power."_

You definitely regret this. Trash.

The world was ripping apart, pieces of black falling. Every bits of memories sucked to the bottom of the endless black hole. I broke free. Time to wake up and show you my true power.

Trashes.

I opened my heavy lids. My vision was blurry, the world was spinning and twisting. My head hurts as if they'd wreck. I was in my ward. I wasn't frozen. I blinked, and blinked, intended to sharpen my sight. I looked around an spotted two men flinched away from me, horrified, as if I'm a radioactive explosive.

"Romario! I thought you said that he wouldn't wake up anymore!" The first man gabbled, fell backwards, eyes widened in complete terror.

"I'm sure that it was fatal! Now I know what the cuffs serve for!" The second man, whatever Mario trash, yapped.

I wanted to move, but my body felt so weak and numb and I couldn't really feel them, like they were not there. _Someone shot me with an immobilizer. _I knew the old fart and his cowards once used that to paralyze a convict that did a grave mistake instead of killing him because they wanted to be called 'lenient'. That idiot eventually died of dehydration and starvation. Made no difference with death penalty anyways. So these trashes must be sent to do the same on me.

l was different from the idiots. I couldn't be controlled, restrained.

I realized my hands were cuffed to the bed, and the worst thing was, I couldn't move them. They were powerless, useless, numb. Won't even budge no matter how hard I tried. There were shitty flames on it. The flames that'd suppress mine.

"Let. Me. Off." I growled.

"We don't have the key either." The blonde with tatoo spoke, gathering whatever strength and dignity he could after showing enough of his cowardice. "I'm here to tell you that you'll be send back to the Vongola headquarter by 11 tomorrow."

"I don't need you to send me that piece of good news, scum." _Move! Why couldn't my body fucking move for fuck's sake!_

"Chesty. Just like who you've always been." I focused on converging all my power to my hands, although I was still dizzy. He watched me stoically.

"Entertained to see me wriggle like a little puppy?"

"I'm sorry to see you like this, even for the things you've done."

"I DO NOT need your fucking sympathy." I managed to twitch my finger.

"Both of you even sounded the same. I wonder if that's a part of the Varia quality."

"Shut up. Leave." I was feeling my hands. Good. Now I just needed to work on it more.

The Cavarone trash sighed. "The Ninth asked me to come and see how you're doing. Seems like you're good."

"That old fart wants you to tell him I'm dead for good." I hauled my hand, the cuff pulled it back. The blonde trash and his puppy noticed, but didn't backed away humiliatingly like they did just now.

"I don't understand why you're so awed." The trash shook his head, placed a hand on his forehead. "Squalo left for that reason. Doesn't know what's your worth." Did he? I didn't know myself. But the tone of him, the face he showed, the way he walked away, they were of disappointment, sorrow, anguish, rage that I never knew._ He was so close to the brink of breaking down_. The sides that I'd never knew or care...

He called me anus. He said he was tired of me and my bullshit.

Was I?

"No, you yip yap to him. I heard you just now." The trash seemed surprised, but he hid his shock.

"I only told him to run free. He isn't your beast of burden. He won't be cleaning up the world you've wrecked your own." Cold, harsh. The words came escaping out of the trash. He was angered, I could tell. The Mario trash tried to simmer him down as he sensed the thicken tension in the atmosphere, fearing of something bad happen.

The blonde trash ran my shark away. My shark. He wouldn't do that. He doesn't betray me. I should just ignore the nonsense the blonde trash made up. Anger rised notch by notch.

Energy ran in me. I was shaking. My scars must have shown themselves because the Mario trash flinched a few steps back quickly. "The scars... We'd better leave now, Boss." said the coward, stewing so badly, his voice was low and urgent.

"I didn't asked him to. He did by his own will. He's stiff enough to handle things. Not like you scum." I hauled my right hand with full force. Useless. The trash didn't even twitched.

"You're a demon. Inhuman. That's why you're so powerful. But you don't have one thing. Friendship. Family. You owned people too much. You don't ever set an eye on nobody. And now you're left with nothing, for good." The trash tighten his fist. I tighten mine, teeth gritted. "I won't let you enslave Squalo, he's my friend and you don't have the rights to own him, drown him. To tell the truth, the Ninth's guardians want you gone. Even if the Ninth lets you of the hook, you won't get off that easily anymore. Serves you right!" The flame in me was already reaching its maximum. I felt my body burning in rage. The temperature rose.

"I. Won't. Let it. Happen." I thrust it hard. I was able to summon a little of my flames to my hand. I hissed and jerked my hands again and again. Mario trash urged blonde trash to leave.

"I will make Squalo the Boss. After your funeral. I'm sure the higher ups will discharge him for his temporary blindness." Blonde trash turned to leaving the messy room, rubbing his temples to relief his nerves. Mario trash scurried off behind. "Can't understand why you even existed." Further exasperated, I jerked even harder. The bed gave out a loud cracking sound. I would not let the stupid rain flames restricted myself. I would not just lie here and watch him got out of the room and snatch my shark away for me, challenging my honour. I would'nt just let my anger flowed for nothing.

_...change your fury into power. You will never know how flawless the outcome can be._

I believed you, for another once, old fart. Because I needed to break free.

Because I owed a certain trashy shark a fucking apology. And being angry? Che, that was just as easy as breathing. I am always angry.

"THAT." The word took wing from my lips and kissed the air. Blonde trash stopped to listen, but didn't turned until a loud, unexpected, not expected noised crushed his ears and gouged his eyes out of the rotten sockets of his. Mario trash cried. "Won't happen." _In a hundred years. _I didn't remember my body ached and stinged everywhere. I didn't remember my head hurt so much that they'd blowed up. I didn't remember beating the blonde trash up after I crushed the worthless rubbish and burned the remains with my flame of wrath to nothing when I brushed by his trashy shoulder. I didn't remember how the both trashes'd their face twisted and distorted into an ugly mix of expression. I wasn't sure how I'd broke the useless cuff.

I remembered Squalo's face of jumbled expressions, his hair, his slender body. I remembered that he didn't betrayed me and I needed to find him now.

At least that was what my hyper intuition told me.

**Squalo**

I saw a reflection of someone on the window pane, someone that I barely recognized. He'd the same long hair, the same thin body and the same silver moonlit eyes like mine. But he was different. I was a proud, strong, dauntless, confident man; he was nothing I was, fragile, coward, ass-kisser, uncertain. Useless garbage. I voied at him, taunted him, laughed him. He didn't make any attempt to recoil. Why, so inept of that retard to be the errand doggie for a worthless motherfucker and getting nothing in the end, even the retard gave in everything, bet every last penny he'd on a pile of shit. What for? Why was I so damned blind?

I was once, so young, so inspired by the rage and power of a raven man with eyes the colour of the most prismatic of a ruby, voice that steals one's soul away, aura of wrath and solidity that was too hard to ignore. I liked that, I followed that, to see if the wild fire enraged into a fiery, brutal storm.

Now I wasn't so sure if I wanted to follow the irregular flames anymore.

Maybe I should considered Dino's offer? I earned the Second Sword Emperor anyways, I could always be the Boss. But I didn't. I chose to be thrown chairs, arrack-filled glasses, plates with half eaten food, porcelain vase, antique statues on my head. I chose to stick out my neck every for a villiany bastard. I chose to become a toy for a shitty bastard.

I was tired. Tired of all this.

But there was somewhere in me, a tiny calling, wanted me to stay. Wanted me to burn with the flames. Wanted me to guide the flames that was ignited. Wanted me to fight for the rage and power that I'd decided to follow without a single deploration. Deep down in me, I, too wanted to stay beside the man whose ass stink of a drain and a heart made of stone and flames and nothing else. Honestly, after being treated like a bitch.

To stand by the badass and fight with the overwhelming power. If not with that badass, the who? I couldn't thought of anyone that was worth enough for me to stand beside with.

Was I the biggest idiot on Earth? Could be.

Where was my holy food!? I'd been waiting for a hellish eternity and was starved as shit. And this stupid pad kept dropping to the sides that I'd to keep it in place with my hand.

There was a creak. Heavy footsteps followed behind. Food was here.

"Just put it on the table and leave."

"Put what on the table?" A voice that I couldn't be more familiar with. The low, deep but solid voice as always that bought out each word with its own distinct weight.

"Voi! No way! Why the fuck are you here!?" I turned to see him standing right at the exit. The tanned raven. The badass I gave my will for. Our eyes met. His were still the ruby orbs that emitted incredible amount of power. He looked like he was expecting me to be impressed, surprised, anything.

"I go anywhere I want to be."

"How come... How did you know I'm here?" OK I was shocked.

"You seem to forget something." He neared me. Still seizing my breath with his intense gaze. _Hyper intuition. _

"Voi... I don't have time to play with your little game now go find yourself a new toy!" I didn't really wanted to see that face now, even if I was dying to.

"I'm not playing any fucking game and I'll only say it once trash." His lips moved like they were about to say something but nothing came out. He looked like he was in a dilemma before making a serious decision that leaded him to say:

"Oi. I'm sorry, trash."

What the fuck *#%$&! This must be the most epic apology on Earth like when you teared the world into two and you was saying 'Oh, I am sorry that I fucking did that but what's for breakfast?'!

"Voi! Is that the way you're s'pose to apologize!?" What was the use of saying a shitty word that didn't even contained the tinest bit of sincerity?

"Is that the way a patient is s'pose to react?" He rolled his eyes in disdain. Just as he was, the badass will never change. He walked to the jar and poured a glass of water and heated the water with the warmth of his hands. I noticed a slight limp when he walked. I watched him until he was only an arm away from me.

"Drink." He commanded.

"I'm not taking-"

"I'm the boss and I say you finish it to the last drop." He growled in his throat. I finished it in a gulp. The water warmed all the way down my eusophaegus. It felt like it contained some sort of energy. He smiled. The rare, small curving of the lips that you'd only get to see one in decades. It faded as quickly as it came.

"So what if you are the boss. Doesn't mean you can freaking fool me around as you like." I threw the emptied glass back to him. He caught it in his hand and reduced the thing to what of little ashes and sprinkled it to the floor. "And what the hell happened to your shitty leg? And these scars?" I pointed at the extra red marks and bruises and bulges that craved onto his tanned complexion that I didn't noticed before. And his hands, they were badly hurt.

"I trashed the room and Cavarone trash immobilized me." He gave me a simplified answer.

"Then what? Didn't explain this!"

"Che." He grunted impatiently. "I fought the air and got shot by an immobilizer but I fought off the serum and break the fucking useless handcuffs that made the Cavorone trash wet his pants."

He must'd got himself hurt in the process. But was it really that easy to wake up from paralyzing? Dino shot him? Not something I wouldn't expected of. He was such a bastard that everyone hated him so much.

"Voi, what makes you wake up?"

"Rage." Just as I'd thought. He was still lingering in the betrayal incident that pissed him off every second.

"...and also you, in directly. Because I thought I heard your glass-breaking and annoying raspy voice."

"Go to hell!" I screamed. A soft, warm lips came flying out of nowhere and attached to my paled ones. A hand crawled behind the back of my head, pushing me to the right angle while another hand slided down to my waist. A smooth, warm tougue glided and explored the internal space of my mouth. Saliva meddled in the same space. He indulged in me, not very romantically, rather rough but affectionate.

"Mftt!" I wanted to part, but my body was reluctant to do so. I laid into the bed of roses and returned the kisses back. My body sighed from pain, of bliss. Normally intimacy of man with man made me physically sick. But I didn't really find this one making me puke. Never realized I was a gay. (Wretch)

"You know what?" His spoke to my ear. I felt his hot breath on it. "I don't just found out that you're mine, I also found out that you're the most important thing I've ever had. You hear?"He let go of me as I wiped my mouth.

"When I hear that Cavorone trash is going to steal away, I knew I have to wake up and sop him. I owned you, didn't I?"

"Voi! There's no fucking contract."

"It's written on your hair didn't it? It reads 'Me, Superbia Squalo will be the own of Xanxus forever.'." He grinned, combed my hair with his bulky fingers.

"Voi you bastard. I'm not interested togay with you."

"You just did. And you don't seemed to hate it, eh?"

"Voi!"

~xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx~

The Japan international airport was not as crowded as always that morning, like it was sensing the presence of someone, someone fearsome.

The sun shone like it always do. Sending warmth and light from an unreachable distance. The light poured into the inside of the airport.

A man was enjoying the music from his headphone and the aroma of the thick, rich coffee. Not until he heard a loud, vexed clamour coming from behind. He turned to see the origin of the harassment.

A few men, obviously injured, was surrounded by a group of men in black suits and shades. They were boarding on a private plane to somewhere. One of them with the longest hair, the length that no man should ever have, shouted out in Italian as the scarred man he was pushing in a wheelchair said something that annoyed him. The other men watched him, the one with his blonde bangs covering his eyes jibed the silver-haired even further, so do the tallest man that looked like he was electrocuted. The man that was tied to a bed only let out a gayish laugh. There was an infant sat on the shoulder of the blonde guy with a tiara on his head. The infant said nothing.

The man in headphone watched the group of Italians. Until he saw no more and he continued enjoying his wait for the flight.

Xanxus looked outside the window of the private plane. He hated the fact that he had to share space with the old man and the other Italians but at least they wasn't on the same deck. The ninth guardians were obviously not happy with his consciousness and were planning something dark among themselves. But Xanxus was not afraid, nor agitated for the tinest bit. He knew he'd the shark, and the shark'd always stay by him. He did nasty things to the silverette that sat opposite to him. But the silverette forgived him, still loyal to him. He owned the silverette, he knew there was an unspoken contract that'd been made. He looked at the proud shark that was covered in bandages from head to toe, the sides of his lips curled upwards.

He didn't care what kind of fate he'd received once they arrived. He didn't care if he'd be freezed once again. He didn't bothered, as long as the shark was with him. He knew the shark'd risked his life anytime to bail him out of trouble. He knew the shark'd take care of things for him. He knew the shark'd wait for his return. Just like the past eight years, when he was buried deep in the cold.

Squalo never left him. He never betray him. And, just forget about Levi.

* * *

><p><strong>Special thanks to KIRI NO BASHOE. Arigatou ne for constant support and forcing me into writting~ *bows* Wouldn't have finished the story if not for this particular person.<strong>

**The whole story wasn't intended to be serious, but I just didn't know why and I made it this way. I hope I didn't make Xanxus too OOC.. Just trying to show Xanxus' gentle side..**

**Lastly, Dino didn't really said the bad things about Xanxus like calling him 'monsterous beast' (He's really noble), it was just that Xanxus was imagining voices himself due to the drug.  
><strong>

**And I say sorry to all my previous readers who'd read my previous story before this one.. It has so many mistakes in them *bows*!**

**THANK YOU  
><strong>


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